The pheasant hunters

the most annoying damn bird in the world is the pheasant
and vale was infested with them ; pheasants have a tendancy to fly into the windshields of oncoming cars, we never said"i hit a pheasant with my car" we said"a cocksucking pheasant hit my car"
every windshield in vale had cracks in it due to one of those funny looking bastards,their black necks and multi-colored bodies made them look like the transvestite priests of the animal kingdom.even cooks dont like them,pheasant under glass is really pigeon.


i was never really a hunter type
but was happy to join my friends tim and chance to go turn a bunch of those damn things into heaps of scattered feathers before they had the chance to do so themselves with our windshields.
the three of us were all 16 at the time, and had been familiar with rifles for about 8years by that point i remeber when i was 10, my mom made sure i had daily practice,just in case i had to shoot my dad;i became a really good shot, but by the time i actually had to,we were out of bullets.
i was writing in the back of chances pick up,tim in the passenger seat with the barrel of his 12 gauge sticking out the window as we cruised the back roads,waiting for some to come out of the corn fields...
soon, we see three of four of them coming our way,
tim finding no reason for us to stop the truck,sticking his body half way out the window with rifle in hand yelling "WELCOME TO VALE,YA STUPID SONS A BITCHES!"
he fired,got one,another rammed into the grill of chances pick-up,
and another went in a different direction


another time the three of us were doing the same on foot with tims birddog, budweiser.
budweiser went to get a fallen bird,but instead of bringing it back,we ran into another feild with it in his mouth to bury it,
we all ran calling him, tim shouting his name, me and chance yelling :C;MERE YA PILE A SHIT!"
tim saying it was no use,his dumb dog dont speak american.


it was really the last time the three of us hung out
afterwards,we didnt see each other as much,and a couple years later chance was killed when pulling a rifle from his dads gunrack the safety was on and the barrel was pointed his way,it went off.
i finally got out a while later
tim,on the other hand
stayed in vale, still a hunter,got married and has 3kids
works as a minimum wage box boy in the grocery
and is quickley becoming a drunk like his old man
he says he is happy,but i cant help but think that 2 of the three of us escaped...